Have You Been “Pre-Forgiven”?
I wrote this a few months ago, but in the spirit of the holidays decided it needed to be shared.
We’re only human, so we all need forgiveness. But what about pre-forgiveness?…
Christian tracts are always at my local post office. Sometimes they’re stacked in a neat little pile, as though someone just shuffled them and tapped them hard and even against the table like a deck of cards. Other times one is standing up, as though an open-book pose will snag passers-by if they catch a word or phrase beaming out from the text.
An empty envelope had been left near such tracts, and the big blue stamp of “YOU’VE BEEN PRE-FORGIVEN OPEN TO FIND OUT HOW*” caught my eye. (Yes, it had the asterik. Doesn’t every such claim?!) I stopped and took two steps backward to glance at the envelop again, maybe because I wondered if it were related to the Bible tracts or if the recipient had left it intentionally to draw more attention to them. But the envelope wasn’t promising eternal salvation — it was promising benefits via Nationwide Insurance. I know because my very own envelope, complete with letter, was waiting for me in my own postal box.
“Dear Emily- Sarah, You’re preforgiven,” the letter starts. “[Y]ou can be forgiven before anything even happens.” They offer Accident Forgiveness (good on your first wreck), Minor Violation Forgiveness (for when the police officer doesn’t care how gorgeous you look when you zip by him at 85 mph), and Roadside Assistance. You can customize coverage to include only the features that fit into your lifestyle. The letter closes with “You can find forgiveness too.”
Customization is a great marketing tool, and it’s no surprise insurance is another industry hopping on the just-the-way-you-want-it boat. It’s smart. Pay for what you need/use, ditch the rest. Personalization prevails! (OK, let’s double up on the accident portion, just in case; I’ll forego the violation part — I have a really fetching smile.)
What made me take a second look (which is the point) is the tagline. But what captivates me the most is the message — not just Nationwide’s, but the intrinsic notion of “pre-forgiveness.” I think immediately of Jesus, God’s son who came to forgive us all, if only we believe; and then you ARE pre-forgiven for the bad stuff you’ll do, even post-salvation. My next thought is of that silly (100% bogus) saying “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” And the next? An acquaintance’s liberal use of “It’s easier to beg forgiveness than ask permission.”
Does being pre-forgiven give us a license to do stuff that needs forgiving? Are we more likely to do what we want to do, just because we’re covered? Some people do live their lives and run their businesses as though they believe it IS easier to ask forgiveness than seek permission. Such a philosophy serves us well, sometimes. (We forge ahead with that work project…and once we have success, those that would’ve vetoed it are on our happy bandwagon. If we’d gone through the proper channels, the project might have never got the go-ahead.) Other times, living by that motto is a recipe for failed relationships (biz and personal), wrong decisions that have no do-over key, or financial loss (ignore city building codes and your structure will NOT pass inspection).
Like lots of things, it seems this attitude should be applied with common sense, which often is anything BUT common. Sometimes reasons present themselves to go around the system when reason itself doesn’t prevail. But mostly? Doing what you want to do even when you know it’s wrong or illegal or immoral — for your company, your family, yourself — is, well, wrong. Even if you’ve been pre-forgiven.
I wrote this a few months ago, but in the spirit of Christmas (and that wandering golfer dude who’s all over the media) decided now is the time to share it.
We’re only human, so we all need forgiveness. But what about pre-forgiveness? …
Christian tracts are always at my local post office. Sometimes they’re stacked in a neat little pile, as though someone shuffled and tapped them hard and even against the table, like a deck of cards. Other times one is standing up, as though an open-book pose will snag passers-by if they catch a word or phrase beaming out from the text.
An empty envelope had been left near such tracts, and the big blue stamp of “YOU’VE BEEN PRE-FORGIVEN OPEN TO FIND OUT HOW*” caught my eye. (Yep, it had the asterisk. Doesn’t every such claim?!) I stopped and took two steps backward to glance at the envelope again, maybe because I wondered if it were related to the Bible tracts or if the recipient had left it intentionally to draw more attention to them. But the envelope wasn’t promising eternal salvation—it was promising benefits via Nationwide Insurance. I know because my very own envelope, complete with letter, was waiting for me in my postal box.
“Dear Emily-Sarah, You’re pre-forgiven,” the letter starts. “[Y]ou can be forgiven before anything even happens.” They offer Accident Forgiveness (good on your first wreck), Minor Violation Forgiveness (for when the police officer doesn’t care how gorgeous you look when you zip by him at 85 mph), and Roadside Assistance. You can customize coverage to include only the features that fit into your lifestyle. The letter closes with “You can find forgiveness too.”
Customization is a great marketing tool, and it’s no surprise insurance is another industry hopping on the just-the-way-you-want-it boat. It’s smart. Pay for what you need/use, ditch the rest. Personalization prevails! (OK, let’s double up on the accident portion, just in case; I’ll forego the violation part—I have a really fetching smile.)
What made me take a second look (which is the point) is the tagline. But what captivates me the most is the message—not just Nationwide’s, but the intrinsic notion of “pre-forgiveness.” I think immediately of Jesus, God’s son who came to forgive us all, if only we believe; and then you are pre-forgiven for the bad stuff you’ll do, even post-salvation. My next thought is of that silly (100% bogus) saying “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” And the next? An acquaintance’s liberal use of “It’s easier to beg forgiveness than ask permission.”
Does being pre-forgiven give us a license to do stuff that needs forgiving? Are we more likely to do what we want to do, just because we’re covered? Some people do live their lives and run their businesses as though they believe it is easier to ask forgiveness than seek permission. And that philosophy serves us well, sometimes: We forge ahead with that work project…and once we have success, those that would’ve vetoed it are on our happy bandwagon. If we’d gone through the proper channels, the project might have never got the go-ahead. Other times, living by that motto is a recipe for failed relationships (biz and personal), wrong decisions that have no do-over key, or financial loss (ignore city building codes and your structure will NOT pass inspection).
Like lots of things, it seems this attitude should be applied with common sense, which often is anything BUT common. Sometimes reasons present themselves to go around the system when reason itself doesn’t prevail. But mostly? Doing what you want to do even when you know it’s wrong or illegal or immoral—for your company, your family, yourself—is, well, wrong. Even if you’ve been pre-forgiven. Not to mention it’s typically very messy, even when you’re not famous like the golf guy. Be thankful if you have a pre-forgiveness policy, but do your best not to use it.
I like what you say about how we should be thankful about a preforgiveness policy but not use it. This is so important in relationships and like you say, at work and also at home. We also need to be careful how we treat others because we may end up being treated the same way!!!
This is a great post! You hit the mark and brought up some great points for life, business and relationships.
“It’s easier to beg forgiveness than ask permission.” I know of one recent example that demonstrates your point. A politician took a transportation issue into his/her own hands, although it was clearly outside of his/her authority and against the rules. That comment was made and ultimately the project had to be undone. The end result was negative on different levels, aside from wasted time and expense.
“Does being pre-forgiven give us a license to do stuff that needs forgiving?” That’s right what you say about sometimes doing first and asking forgiveness later makes sense to get something off the ground and if our motives are good. And that’s very right about how other times “living by that motto is a recipe for failed relationships (biz and personal), wrong decisions that have no do-over key, or financial loss (ignore city building codes and your structure will NOT pass inspection).” I put a lot of stock in rules and I also think it matters alot what someone’s motivation is. Good ending thought you had too.
Definitely food for thought here!
Maybe a distinction between making a mistake and behaving wrongly would help here. I’m guessing that what the insurance company has in mind is ‘forgiving’ that little fender-bender or the chip in the windshield that wasn’t really anybody’s fault. I doubt that they’re going to ‘forgive’ that third DUI, or the accident you were in while texting on your cell phone.
Similarly for other kinds of action. “Honest mistakes” are one thing, deliberate deception, dishonesty, etc. are another.
In raising children, I think one of the hardest things to sort out is when to treat an incident as an ‘honest mistake’ and when to treat it as a more serious matter. These would require different responses in my view.
One last thought- being forgiven (pre- or otherwise) doesn’t necessarily mean that there are no other consequences of one’s action.
As the saying goes… and I hope I get it right because I’m too lazy to look it up, “we’re not punished for our sins, but by them.” Comes to mind on this topic of pre-forgiveness. It all comes down to intention I believe. I can have the best of intentions, but if my actions aren’t inline with those, then well, maybe I did count on some pre-forgiveness. I listen to that small gentle voice, which I could never hear before dedicating my life to a more spiritual path. The hardest part for me to get over was forgiving myself for things I had done in the past. The best way to avoid having to do that, don’t do them anymore. How did I stop doing them? I learned to love myself.
OK, I’m not sure if any of that made sense… but it did to me.
I referenced your post on being Pre-forgiven in my blog at: http://roadrevelations.org/?p=340. Good article, be blessed!