Be Judgmental (Toward Yourself)
How is your year unfolding? What are you spending your waking (nonworking) hours doing, watching, being, absorbing? Look over the past week or month of your life. Now answer this question: What’s your pattern of stimulation?
Are you usually passive, content with observing more than doing? And when you are engaged in something, what is that activity? What’s its meaning or function or purpose? Are you spending too much of your life viewing others live theirs? (And do you actually know the people you’re watching?!)
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, author of Flow, writes, “Most of us spend many hours each week watching celebrated athletes playing in enormous stadiums. Instead of making music, we listen to platinum records cut by millionaire musicians. Instead of making art, we got to admire paintings that brought in the highest bids at the latest auction. We do not run risks acting on our beliefs, but occupy hours each day watching actors who pretend to have adventures, engaged in mock-meaningful action. This vicarious participation is able to mask, at least temporarily, the underlying emptiness of wasted time. But it is a very pale substitute for attention invested in real challenges. The flow of experience that results from the use of skills leads to growth; passive entertainment leads nowhere. Collectively we are wasting each year the equivalent of millions of years of human consciousness. The energy that could be used to focus on complex goals, to provide enjoyable growth, is squandered on patterns of stimulation that only mimic reality.”
That quote seems especially appropriate during the Olympics, grand tradition that it is. (Its $6 billion+ price tag leaves me wondering how many lives could be changed if it were carefully invested in some of the millions of people with needs {and/or innovative ideas} worldwide.) I’ve watched about 30 minutes, total, of the winter Olympics. I truly don’t care who wins, but I do root for everyone to do their best. (I know how it feels to perform in front of an audience; even if you come up short for the gold, it helps to know you did your personal best; and conversely it haunts to fall—literally or figuratively—and mentally replay the scene and what-ifs.) I don’t watch a lot of the Olympics because, frankly, it adds nothing to my life. Ditto for sports and TV sitcoms. Does it expand my mind or pay my bills or enrich my spirit? (Sometimes 30 Rock touches on that last one—laughter absolutely has value!).
I’m not anti-Olympics or sports or, for that matter, always (though sometimes) against things that qualify as, ahem, psuedo-activities (Farmville, anyone?). OK, I’m definitely anti-Farmville, but I won’t judge you. Promise. But I do want you to judge yourself. Stop sleepwalking through your days. Stop mindlessly crashing in front of the TV in the evenings because you think you’re too tired for anything else (and stay too tired to turn off the set so one cop drama turns into three hours of the stuff). Days turn into weeks, and years travel faster with each passing one. “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives,” says Annie Dillard. How are you spending your life?
If being attached to a Wii makes your heart sing, well, it’s not for me to tell you to stick your nose in a book (which is one way my spirit hums). But I do challenge you to be deliberate and proactive in your choices. Too many of us live on automatic pilot, which is to say we don’t fully live by our own design. It’s easier (and more comfortable and way less threatening) to stay stuck in a comfortable habit instead of thoughtfully changing the status quo. Quit wearing the metaphysical brand of the masses and decide what you represent, what you stand for, what is most important to you. And then, as Nike asserts, Just Do It. Note the directive is active (not Just Watch It, or Just Sit There). So go on. Be mindful of each decision you make. Change the station or pattern if you’ve been on auto-mode and you’ll alter the direction of your day…and your life.
We’re a passive society. Our entertainment and leisure time is often spent consuming what others are doing to a more extreme degree. Instead of playing tennis, we watch pros. We’re lazy and watch instead of do. We condition our children to do the same when we allow them to be more engaged with video games than playing outside or creatively inside. (I’m already seeing signs of this with my 5-year-old.) So while the post is about our own lives/actions, our societal habits become the the norm for next generation. We’re out of balance!
This is powerful and simple but much harder to DO. What a nice reminder about being mindful. I think that’s really underneath it all. Sometimes I run through the day and look back and can’t remember what I ate. I suppose the automatic pilot statement is me?!?!?!
We don’t need to always be a spectator, but I do think there are different times and circumstances in life where we can be more active or less active. For everything there is a season …
But yes, you’re right about we should put more thought into what we do. It’s easy to get into habits and then stop thinking about what we’re doing or even hardly recognize we’re doing them.
Scott, yes, we’re far too passive in many ways. It’s not enough to assume we/our children learn through “osmosis”; we need to take responsibility for our lives and those within our sphere of care.
Barbara, I’m right there with you (I had to think hard to conjure up the list of what I ate today). Auto-pilot can be a nice thing in emergencies, but when we engage it all the time, we’re missing the moment! But we do have to disengage in a proactive and deliberate way, don’t we? Or I do!
Dave, this is so true (different seasons to be more or less active), and I know people living in both extremes of activity/passivity, and some are quite deliberate in the extreme, meaning they’re consciously choosing/limited in what they do or don’t do. Again, I’d argue it’s the mindfulness aspect. Do we know why we’re doing what we’re doing? Are we making thoughtful choices? Good ones? Or just hitting the rewind button of life, pressing (re)play, and then wondering why things don’t improve/change/”get better”?
Thanks, guys! Keep the thoughts coming!
Oh so true! Oddly enough, the Olympics are the only reason we got a TV 4 years ago, and the reason we finally subscribed to cable this year. I hate the over-produced, hyped-up and often manufactured drama, but I love those moments where you can see an athlete pull the very best he/she has to offer. I love the (true) stories of triumph over adversity, and underdogs surprising the experts. I find the Olympic ideals inspiring.
Having said that, I couldn’t agree more that most of our leisure time is spent in unsatisfying ways. (and farmville- seriously! who thought that up?) I was going to say I don’t get it, but I sort of do. It’s the illusion of doing something, rather than the actual doing. Easier to click a few keys (I’m guessing that’s what they do!) than to actually haul rocks away or dig garden beds. But the rewards of a home-grown tomato have to be so much more satisfying than chasing down those cows that get loose! Psuedo-activities indeed!
Liz, I like your points about the Olympics (and I *do* find the training and devotion inspiring). I believe you’re right about “the illusion of doing something, rather than the actual doing.” I hadn’t thought of it in quite those terms. Those pseudo-activities can be gratifying (getting to the next level of a game, for instance), but what have we truly accomplished? And how has it impacted our life (or others)?! … Thanks, Liz. I always enjoy your comments (and I’m still benefiting from the Christmas talk)!